Things to do with your newborn:
1. Take selfies.
Source: Redditor EWW3
This is great!
choose carefully: the red pill or the blue pill
Either way, you’re not leaving the couch for sixteen hours.
the tumblr staff is so sassy that i dont know if this is fake or not
do u ever go to school confident in what ur wearing and then u actually get there and ur kind of just like wow well this was an awful idea
i used to think i was unphotogenic then i found out i was just ugly
MY DAD GAVE ME A GOLDEN GAYTIME IVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER
I DIDNT REALISE HOW THIS MIGHT SOUND TO NON-AUSTRALIANS IM REALLY SORRY
i feel like you australians are just fucking with us now
i was sent to the school counselor after a teacher overheard me saying i had to murder all the other kids in the school with the same name as me so i could become the alpha
What just happened.
what the fuck
what the fucking fuck
haha woah we have the same first names [whispers] i will fucking end you
pretty sure you don’t hate me but i’m still scared to text you first